[0046]

Sitting on my balcony, enjoying the warmth of dusk and the quiet serene view, brings out some very in-apprehensive processes of thought. I realized that life goes by very fast; not while you're living your everyday routine, but when you think about things in retrospect. Long gone are the days when I used to sit candidly on my papa's shoulders while he walked on the shore of the Red Sea wearing his khaki shorts and a polo, both of us holding an ice cream cone. The days when the most exciting part of bed time was not the sleep I was going to dip into, but the way my mama would come into my room and unfold my blanket and lightly cover my legs, telling me that one day I was going to be very grown up and unfold my own blanket. The days when I'd look forward to waking up to the aroma of my mama's food and not to the worrying thought about how much I have procrastinated in my school work. The days of unabashed glee when my bhara bhai would bring me Jelly Cola candy from the convenience store of my compound. Now I live alone, without my parents and without my siblings. I remember feeling so happy in my senior year of high school, because soon I'd get to live alone and do whatever I please. That feeling too is long gone. Now all I wish to do is wake up in a house where my whole family is, waiting for me to awaken because I have the sleeping habits of a koala. Longing to hear my papa say that I wasted my whole day in slumber and my mama telling my papa "it's okay, one day she'll be married, who knows what kind of in-laws she'll have" and then bringing me a plate of deliciously home cooked food. I wish I could go back to being a little girl, without a care in the world, watching the Simpsons every Sunday at 9PM and then going to bed straight after. Why was I in such a rush to grow up and live independently? I guess it's true what they say, be careful what you wish for because you just might get it all.

[0045]

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whomever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

-- Rumi

[0044] - Mind Boggling Statistics

• Nearly 800 million people in the world do not receive enough food, and about 500 million people are chronically malnourished.
• 1.3 billion people lack access to safe drinking water, and more than half of the worlds population does not have adequate water supplies.
• 17 million people die every year from treatable infectious diseases. The most common are respiratory infections (7 million deaths a year), diarrhea (4 million), tuberculosis (3 million).
• Of the world's 18 million people infected with HIV, a staggering 90% live in the southern hemisphere (developing world). Only 30% of the world's doctors practice in these countries, despite the fact that 75% of the world's population live in these countries.
• More than one-third of children in the south are malnourished. Every three seconds a child dies from malnutrition-related problems (more than 1000 an hour, 30000 a day, and 10 million a year).
• About 130 million children in the southern hemisphere do not attend primary school, and 275 million do not attend secondary school.
• One billion people in the world are illiterate.
• 70% of the people in abject poverty in the world are women.
• Two-thirds of illiterate people are women.
• In the southern hemisphere, maternal mortality rates are 12 times higher than the women in the northern hemisphere (developed world).
• 80% of malnourished children are female.
• Women hold only 10% of seats in the world's legislative assemblies and parliament.

Eye opening or what?

[0043]

"And since we all came from a woman, got our name from a woman and our game from a woman, I wonder why we take from our women,why we rape our women. Do we hate our women? I think it's time to kill for our women, time to heal our women, be real to our women. And if we don't, we'll have a race of babies that will hate the ladies. And since a man can't make one, he has no right to tell a woman when and where to create one. So will the real man get up? I know you're fed up ladies, but keep your head up."

-- Tupac Shakur

[0042]

"Life is bigger. It's bigger than you. And you are not me. The lengths that I will go to, the distance in your eyes. I've said too much, I said it all. That's me in the corner. That's me in the spotlight. Losing my religion, trying to keep up with you. And I don't know if I can do it. I've said too much. I haven't said enough. I thought that I heard you laughing. I thought that I heard you sing. I think I thought I saw you try..."

Have you ever thought about your inner self and noticed that you sometimes change who you are to adapt to someone else? Or to adapt yourself to your group of friends? I think at some point during your lifetime, you happen to do it. At least once. You feel the need to be like someone else so you're not the odd ball out. You feel the need to fit in...properly. You feel the need to be someone you're not just for the simple reason of being accepted. In the process of this whole change, you sometimes forget who you were to begin with. You look in the mirror and don't recognize the person staring back. You try to rewind your memories back to that distant person you once were. When you do find them, and you compare the two of yourselves, you feel this wave of unadulterated disgust; a nausea that doesn't seem to go away. Because in essence, who exactly are you? Have you just been living in this new shell, and if need be, ready to strip it off? Or have you actually completely morphed into a whole new person? A person that if you think about for too long, you don't seem to know. I think it's crucial to your peace of mind to sit and reflect upon yourself once in a while. To understand wholesomely who exactly you are. Many a people lose themselves while pursuing life. They lose their morals, their principles, the very foundation of who they are. They forget what they were even chasing. In this life of severe ups and downs, it's hard for someone to be sure of anything. But one thing you must always, without a doubt be sure of is who you are. The very fiber of your being must be defined in your own mind. Without that knowledge, how can you know where you're heading if you don't even know who it is looking back at you when you see your reflection?

[0041]