[0046]

Sitting on my balcony, enjoying the warmth of dusk and the quiet serene view, brings out some very in-apprehensive processes of thought. I realized that life goes by very fast; not while you're living your everyday routine, but when you think about things in retrospect. Long gone are the days when I used to sit candidly on my papa's shoulders while he walked on the shore of the Red Sea wearing his khaki shorts and a polo, both of us holding an ice cream cone. The days when the most exciting part of bed time was not the sleep I was going to dip into, but the way my mama would come into my room and unfold my blanket and lightly cover my legs, telling me that one day I was going to be very grown up and unfold my own blanket. The days when I'd look forward to waking up to the aroma of my mama's food and not to the worrying thought about how much I have procrastinated in my school work. The days of unabashed glee when my bhara bhai would bring me Jelly Cola candy from the convenience store of my compound. Now I live alone, without my parents and without my siblings. I remember feeling so happy in my senior year of high school, because soon I'd get to live alone and do whatever I please. That feeling too is long gone. Now all I wish to do is wake up in a house where my whole family is, waiting for me to awaken because I have the sleeping habits of a koala. Longing to hear my papa say that I wasted my whole day in slumber and my mama telling my papa "it's okay, one day she'll be married, who knows what kind of in-laws she'll have" and then bringing me a plate of deliciously home cooked food. I wish I could go back to being a little girl, without a care in the world, watching the Simpsons every Sunday at 9PM and then going to bed straight after. Why was I in such a rush to grow up and live independently? I guess it's true what they say, be careful what you wish for because you just might get it all.