[0026]

"Trust me, Nina, you're going to grow older and you'll realize you don't need a sister. For a lot of reasons. You'll see, give it time." Those were the same words my mother uttered each time five year old me asked her why I couldn't have a sister. Growing up, my brothers both had each other, as a same-sex sibling. They had this bond. A bond which was greatly coveted by me. I would always be the one left out during the endless hours playing on the Nintendo 64, I would be the one who didn't have anyone to play swords with, and I would be the one who was always double-teamed on. Whenever they picked on me, I'd always run to my mother and beg her for a sister. And she would always reply with the same few sentences. At the time, those words didn't help me, or give me any amount of comfort. However her hugs and kisses always did, and for a short while I forgot about my plight of not having a sister to share my things with, or double-team my brothers with. As the years progressed, and I grew older, I began to realize that I really did not in fact need a sister. I was the light of my father's eyes, a diamond in the rough as he liked to say. I basically got anything and everything I asked for. I began to understand that I was indeed happy being the only girl, and on top of that, being the youngest. I didn't have to compete with anyone, I was it. And that feeling was the greatest feeling ever...albeit a little self-centered, but really, who cares :P My brothers started showing me tonnes of love, taking care of me, shooing the bad boys away, making sure I was safe. It was finally a great thing having older brothers. When I was five, you could have shot me before I'd have admitted that. Later as I matured, and needed someone else besides my mother to confide in, I noticed I did indeed have sisters. Two beautiful sisters. One who I had known since I was a wee little 5 year old, and the other since I was an obnoxious 14 year old. Upon understanding the fact that I actually had sisters to share secrets with, and clothes, and love; I went through that stunning realization that what my mother used to say during those long ago days was, in high accuracy, very true. I didn't need a biological sister. I had found her in two very different women. Two women who I cannot imagine my life without, two women who are in many aspects closer to me than many biological sisters are to each other. In my very personal opinion, I have no need or desire whatsoever for an actual sister my parents birthed. Looking back, it's quite funny how I used to beg and plead for one. But as Anais Nin said "there are very few human beings who recieve the truth, complete and staggering, by instant illumination. Most of them aquire it fragment by fragment, on a small scale, by succesive developements, cellularly, like a laborious mosaic." And that is exactly how I came about this truth of mine. Slowly but surely. So yes, I have two brothers. But I also have two sisters; closer to my heart than blood itself.